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Post by Sharkbait on Aug 1, 2008 12:55:30 GMT -5
Autumn sat curled up in a chair, a book hovering a little ways away from her face. She ran her hands through her hair as she read. She wanted to hang out with Chaosti, but she had a feeling he was working on his newest masterpiece. She was never jealous of his work. She only wished she could find something to do while he worked.
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Post by starcrossed on Aug 1, 2008 13:25:32 GMT -5
When Chaosti walked into the library, he was shielding like crazy. He'd been shielding all day, and it was starting to give him a headache. He'd wandered the school, both hoping to run into Autumn and hoping to avoid her. He wasn't sure if he was ready to face her - or to face himself. He told himself the library would be the last place he looked before he gave up and went to hide in his dorm. That was, gave up and went to do some homework in his dorm. But of course, fate always decrees that the last place you look is where whatever you're looking for is. Though that could be that after you find it, you stop looking. But he wasn't going to argue the logic of sayings now. He'd gone halfway through a circuit around the library and had spotted Autumn. All at once he was glad to see her, relieved that the nerve-wracking wait was over, and terrified of what he had to do. Chaosti took a deep breath and forced his legs to move. All too soon he was sitting in the chair next to her, and it was then that he realized he hadn't been using his time to do what he should have - come up with how he was going to tell her. All he could bring himself to do was give a lopsided smile and say, "Hey."
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Post by Sharkbait on Aug 1, 2008 13:29:41 GMT -5
Autumn looked up and smiled when she heard Chaosti's voice. The book she was reading floated over to the end table on one side of the chair. "Hey," she said. Then the smile fell from her face. Something was off about him. "You're shielding, you're tense, and you're flipping between happiness, guilt, dread, and probably nausea. What's wrong?"
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Post by starcrossed on Aug 1, 2008 13:34:45 GMT -5
Chaosti took a deep breath and let it out in a gusty sigh. He thought for a moment, then said, "Well, first of all, you know this is a library, right? And that yelling is not allowed in a library? Right, just checking." He fidgeted, delaying, trying to come up with something, anything, that could be an easy opener for this discussion. He drew a complete blank. "I really have no idea how to do this," he groaned.
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Post by Sharkbait on Aug 1, 2008 13:39:19 GMT -5
Autumn started to get really scared when he told her that yelling wasn't allowed. She got confused when he couldn't find a way to say what he wanted to. "Hey, you know you can tell me anything," she said. "And I promise not to yell. Even if you did use an incredibly chliche ((There's no accent button... but you know there should be one so whatever.)) phrase to start off." She tried to lighten the mood, but had a feeling that it wouldn't help too much.
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Post by starcrossed on Aug 1, 2008 13:41:33 GMT -5
Chaosti smiled weakly and thought for a moment longer, than said, "This might be easier if I just opened my mind and showed you everything. But it's a lot, and I don't want to overwhelm you.."
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Post by Sharkbait on Aug 1, 2008 13:47:53 GMT -5
Autumn sighed. "Really? I've managed to not be overwhelmed by anything in this school for over three years. I have a feeling I can handle it."
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Post by starcrossed on Aug 1, 2008 13:57:28 GMT -5
Chaosti nodded slowly, then said, "Okay.. Here goes nothing." He dropped his shields, hesitantly at first, then flung his mind wide open, allowing her access to everything. All that had happened between him and Edward, all the confusion, the doubt, the guilt, the denial, and most of all, the overwhelming fear that he might hurt her irreparably and lose her friendship. Even knowing she would see all this, he trusted her not to smash through his mind and potentially damage it.
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Post by Sharkbait on Aug 1, 2008 14:43:47 GMT -5
Autumn sat, listening to his thoughts. "So, you're saying that you're gay," she said. "And you're breaking up with me." She looked at him, tears filling her eyes. "Yeah, that probably was the easiest way to do that."
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Post by starcrossed on Aug 1, 2008 15:38:04 GMT -5
"I'm sorry. Please don't hate me," Chaosti begged, wanting to take her hand but not knowing if she'd be comfortable with that yet. Or ever. "I never meant for this to happen. I never even dreamed I might be.. gay. I'm still confused about it. I honestly thought I would spend the rest of my life with you." He sighed and shook his head, then said, "But that wouldn't be fair to you. You deserve more."
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Post by Sharkbait on Aug 3, 2008 16:27:50 GMT -5
Autumn smiled weakly and tentatively reached her hand up to his cheek. "I can't hate you," she whispered. "As much as I want to hate you.. to hate him... I just can't. I love you and I want you to be happy. If this is what's going to make you happy, then I can't find a way to hate either one of you." A few tears fell down her cheeks and her voice was weak. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. "I'll be fine eventually. And who knows? Maybe now you'll not only help me find someone else, but decide if he's worthy to be with me." Her attempt at humor didn't come across quite as well as she'd hoped when her chuckle turned into a sob that she had hoped to keep back.
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Post by starcrossed on Aug 3, 2008 20:37:26 GMT -5
Chaosti breathed a sigh of relief, though his eyes still held pain, to see her so brokenhearted. "Thank you. You are a wonderful friend and a wonderful woman. No man will ever be good enough for you in my eyes. I will always love you. And I will always be your friend." Her sob twisted at his heart and he reached out to wrap an arm around her shoulders, a half-hug that she could easily get out of if she wasn't comfortable.
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Post by Sharkbait on Aug 3, 2008 20:55:03 GMT -5
Autumn wrapped her arms around his neck as she tried to keep her tears at bay. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for everything. And I'm sorry for anything I ever say that makes it seem like I'm not okay with your relationship with Edward." She pulled back and gave him another weak smile. She knew wiping the tears off her cheeks would do no good because they would come back within seconds. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this," she added. She kissed his cheek and stood up. "I'll see you around, friend." She walked as calmly as she could out of the library. Once she was in the hall, she sprinted up to the Air Common Room and collapsed on the couch, a sobbing mess.
((Now, should I bring Edward into the library to talk with Chaosti? I know I'm gonna have Jasper talk to Autumn. You could bring in Elena and Layali... Then I'll bring in Logan... I dunno. What do you think?))
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Post by starcrossed on Aug 3, 2008 21:41:48 GMT -5
Chaosti hugged her back tightly, then gave her a tentative half-smile. Before he could think of a reply, though, she was already leaving. "Autumn..?" He called after her anxiously. But she had already gone. Chaosti sighed, slumping down in his chair and pressing the heels of his hands to his closed eyes.
[Sounds good to me! Elena and Layali on their way!]
Elena had been visiting Layali in the girls' Air dorms, doing her hair and nails and chatting as she avoided Chaosti. She had told Layali about the whole pregnancy thing a few days ago, and was surprised to discover that Layali liked kids, and was excited for her. They had begun to hang out more often, though Elena had at one point plugged her ears and began chanting "Lalalalalalala" over and over again when Layali asked if she'd thought about names. The subject had been dropped. She now cheerfully led Layali down the stairs, talking about band she'd read an interview with in Cosmowitch. Layali spotted Autumn first and, a worried expression on her face, darted over, Elena following quickly. "Autumn?" Layali asked, kneeling down next to the couch and reaching out to touch her shoulder lightly. "What is it? Has something happened?"
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Post by Sharkbait on Aug 3, 2008 21:55:18 GMT -5
Edward walked down the hall, exploring the castle. He came to a large set of double doors and figured he'd check it out. He walked through them to find himself faced with the library. "So that's where it is," he muttered. "Makes sense." He walked through it, not looking at any book with much interest. When he came to a more open area, he saw Chaosti with his head in his hands. Edward rushed over and gently put a hand on Chaosti's back. "Hey, you okay?"
Autumn didn't hear Layali call her name. She didn't react until she felt a hand on her shoulder. Her head jerked up and she saw Layali and Elena looking worried. She quickly repositioned herself to sit on the couch with her arms wrapped around her legs. Tears were still streaming down her face. All she could do was shake her head in disbelief when Layali asked her what had happened. Jasper came down then, looking worried. He had heard Autumn crying from upstairs, but it didn't register until he heard the worry from Layali because he had just woken up from a nap. Autumn was blocking him, though she wasn't really trying, so he couldn't figure anything out. He knelt in front of her, next to Layali, and made her look him in the eye. "What's wrong?" She continued to shake her head, but she managed to get out "Chaosti...."
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Post by starcrossed on Aug 3, 2008 23:08:19 GMT -5
Chaosti removed his hands from his face and leaned back into Edward's touch. With a sigh, he said slowly, "I'm not sure. I just talked to Autumn. She took it better than I dared hope, but.. She's hurt. I can't tell how badly."
Panic shot through Elena at that one word. She could only fathom one reason that Autumn could be so upset about Chaosti. "What happened?!" She demanded, yellow eyes wide with alarm. "Where is he?" "Alive," Layali pointed out to her, trying to calm the situation, though worry was plain on her face as well. "I would have known if it were otherwise."
[Sorry my posts keep taking for ever - reading between posts, trying to finish before midnight - my time, that is.]
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Post by Sharkbait on Aug 3, 2008 23:18:45 GMT -5
((Yeah, no problem. And you totally didn't make it by my time, sorry. Good luck with making it by your time though.))
Edward sat next to Chaosti and put his arm around his shoulder. "I guess it was a lot for her to take at one time," he said. "And you said she loves you, right? So, it was going to hurt. She'll need time and a little space before you can be close again. But she'll forgive you if she loves you."
Autumn looked up at Elena. "No, he's fine," she said, her voice raspy and quiet from crying. "Don't stress yourself out; it's not good for the baby." Jasper sighed. "Autumn, we're going to need you to tell us what happened." She started to shake her head again, but Jasper kept talking. "We can't help if we don't know what happened. I don't care if you don't want the help." Autumn took a deep breath and rested her forehead on her knees. She started to say something, but it hurt her throat. She coughed and swallowed a few times before looking between the three concerned faces in front of her. She sighed and focused on her legs. "He broke up with me," she said in the quietest voice she could manage, but still have them hear her. The air in Jasper's lungs left him immediately. He could tell why she was so upset, but he had a feeling there was something more to it.
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Post by starcrossed on Aug 3, 2008 23:37:55 GMT -5
Chaosti nodded, settling comfortably under Edward's arm and reaching out to take Edward's free hand in both of his. His brow furrowed, he seemed to study Edward's hand as he talked "I know. I do, really. I just hate to see her hurting. She's been a huge part of my life for a long time now. It feels wrong to be the one causing her pain now, instead of the one comforting her."
"What?!" Elena yelped, completely disregarding what Autumn said before about stressing herself out. "Why the hell would he do that? You two have the only functional relationship in this entire school! I'll kill the bastard!" Layali looked utterly confused and moved to sit on the couch next to Autumn, while Elena was too worked up to sit. "Did something happen between you two?" Layali asked softly.
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Post by Sharkbait on Aug 3, 2008 23:48:16 GMT -5
Edward nodded. "I know," he said. "But she's got a lot of people who'll support her through this. And the pain will go away. I know it seems impossible, but it will. Everything will be fine." He smiled, hoping to help get his point across.
Jasper saw Autumn's gaze flash to Elena. He quickly stood and pulled his girlfriend over to the couch and made her sit before kneeling in front of Autumn again. Autumn shook her head again, but this time in response to Layali's question. "No, I didn't think anything was wrong," she said. "Then he just randomly finds me and is blocking like mad. He's never done that to me. Then when I ask him what's wrong, he just lets down the block and shows me that he's..." She broke off into another sob as her voice caught on the last word. Jasper laid a hand gently on her knee and tried to calm her enough so that she could talk. "That he's what?" he prompted her. "That he's gay," she whispered. Then a shot of horror ran across her face. "Oh god, I turned my boyfriend gay!" She buried her head in her knees again as the tears flowed. She absently wondered how long that would last.
((Okay, I'm going to bed. I'll be back after sleep. Bye!))
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Post by starcrossed on Aug 4, 2008 2:26:10 GMT -5
Chaosti nodded, chewing at his lower lip. "I know. I just wish we could skip the awkward, painful part and go straight to being friends again. I feel useless, sitting around doing nothing. I know my presence won't exactly help speed things along, but it goes against everything I know, ignoring her pain."
If Elena hadn't already been sitting, she might have fallen over. He mouth had literally fallen open, and she stared at Autumn in shock. Finally she said, "I'm sorry.. What?" Layali recovered first and said, "Autumn, it's not your fault. That's not the way it works, from everything I've read. It wasn't a conscious decision on his part, and it's not because of anything you did or didn't do." Elena sounded like she was choking on something, folding her lips under and biting them together. Despite her best efforts though, a tiny giggle escaped her. Layali shot her a look that could have flayed her alive. "I'm sorry," Elena said quickly, her voice tight and squeaky, "It's not funny. It's not."
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