Post by starcrossed on Jul 9, 2006 21:25:18 GMT -5
Fweh, it's not exactly a controvertial thing or any such.. But oh well! *dons pirate hat* We're here to discuss the wonderfullness that was Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest! Woot!
----WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD!!! DUCK FOR COVER!!----
I personally loved it. Absolute favorite moment: "I've got a jar of diiiirt! I've got a jar of diiiiirt!"
Yay. Anyway, I found this online while I was searching for a picture of Jack and his jar of dirt (I wanted to make a banner out of it, lol... Alas, I found no such picture.) and found it to be an utterly hilarious summary of the first part of the movie. So I thought I'd share!
~
Water: *swish*
Titles: "Pirates of the Caribbean"
Water: *more swish*
Titles: "Dead Man's Chest"
Lizzy: *sob* Rain! No Will! My wedding! Ruined!
(enter Will in irons, a bunch o' marines, and a few official-looking people)
Lizzy: Will!
Will: Lizzy!
(they look at each other with all the passion of "I so want to make out with you right now.")
Beckett: I'm here to round up you *points at Will*, you *points at Liz*, and a "James Norrington." Any idea where he is?
Daddy Swann: Nope, definitely not.
Beckett: Rats. Okay, lovebirds, you remember Jack Sparrow?
Lovebirds: CAPTAIN.
Beckett: Mmhmm, right. Well, you two helped him escape, so I gotta kill you.
Lovebirds + Daddy Swann: Oh noes!
Gibbs: *shambles around on deck with a rum bottle, singing eerily* Fifteen men on a dead man's chest, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Drink and the devil will do for the rest, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Prison: *is menacing*
Birds: *peck away at prisoners' flesh*
Prisoners: Gross!
Prison guards: *throw coffins into the sea*
A Bird: *unintelligently decides to peck at a coffin*
Gunshot: BOOM!
Bird: *flies away*
Gun: *pops out of hole in coffin and circles around menacingly*
Jack: *pops out of hole* To the Pearl! *steals corpse's leg and uses it as a paddle*
Gibbs: *hauls Jack aboard* So, treasure? Shiny things?
Jack: Nope! Better! A drawing of a key!
Crew: *slightly mutinous*
Jack: *wary* But it opens something shiny!
Crew: *no longer mutinous*
Gibbs: Which way, Cap'n?
Jack: *whips out compass* Well...
Compass: *non-functional*
Jack: Er. Um. General diretion of...*points* THAT WAY!
Gibbs: Eh?
Beckett: Alright, Will, here's what happens. You go scamper off and find Jack, bring me back his compass, and I don't hang Lizzy. Deal?
Will: Damn, I'll have to swordfight him *again*.
Beckett: Oh, no, wait, you can offer him these letters of marque.
Will: Psh. As if. Anyways, off I go!
Daddy Swann: *paces nervously*
Lovebirds: *pretty moment*
Lizzy: *raunchy*
Daddy Swann: *has a heart attack*
Lizzy: So, Will, where are you going to look for Jack?
Will: Oh, well, Tortuga, I mean, duh!
Lizzy: You best not sleep with any whores while you're there, boy.
Will: Off I go!
Jack: Ahhh!! Lack of rum!
Bootstrap: Boo!!
Jack: Nast!
Bootstrap: Anyways...yada yada I sold my soul to Davy Jones to escape eternal torment on the ocean floor yada yada you owe a debt, your time is up yada yada, here's your Black Spot already!
Jack: Yipes! Crew!! Quickly!!! To land!!!!
Monkey: *steals Jack's hat and throws it in the ocean*
Jack: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gibbs: Wanna go back for it?
Jack: Psh. No way. Stupid cursed undead monkey.
Assembled whores of Tortuga: *slap Will*
Random fisherman/rowboat guy: I'll sail you to this abandoned isle place where Jack's ship is. Just his ship. Absolutely no idea whether or not Jack himself is there.
Will: Mmkay.
RF/RG: Ooops, I lied. Or I know that there are cannibals on this island. Back to the ship we go!!
Will: WTF? *jumps into ocean and swims to shore* Hmm, the Black Pearl. JAAAAAAAAAAAACK?!?!?! Are you here?!...Guess not. Time to journey into the jungle.
A eunuch trap: *catches Will*
Will: Blast!
Cannibals: Look, King Jack, it's eunuch on a stick!
Will: OMG! Jack!
Jack: Save me!
Will: WTF?
Cannibals: Into the cage you go!
Necklace o' Human Toes: *is nasty*
Jack: *bites a toenail* Mmm...tasty...
Will: So why didn't Jack help?
Gibbs: 'Cause the cannibals are gonna eat him.
Will: Oh. That's a good reason. Anyways, time to start climbing up the side of this ravine!
~
Yay. It made me laugh. Lots. Anywho, rant away about the splendidness that is PotC2! *whips out sword* And any who denies that it was splendid shall face me sword! Arr.
----WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD!!! DUCK FOR COVER!!----
I personally loved it. Absolute favorite moment: "I've got a jar of diiiirt! I've got a jar of diiiiirt!"
Yay. Anyway, I found this online while I was searching for a picture of Jack and his jar of dirt (I wanted to make a banner out of it, lol... Alas, I found no such picture.) and found it to be an utterly hilarious summary of the first part of the movie. So I thought I'd share!
~
Water: *swish*
Titles: "Pirates of the Caribbean"
Water: *more swish*
Titles: "Dead Man's Chest"
Lizzy: *sob* Rain! No Will! My wedding! Ruined!
(enter Will in irons, a bunch o' marines, and a few official-looking people)
Lizzy: Will!
Will: Lizzy!
(they look at each other with all the passion of "I so want to make out with you right now.")
Beckett: I'm here to round up you *points at Will*, you *points at Liz*, and a "James Norrington." Any idea where he is?
Daddy Swann: Nope, definitely not.
Beckett: Rats. Okay, lovebirds, you remember Jack Sparrow?
Lovebirds: CAPTAIN.
Beckett: Mmhmm, right. Well, you two helped him escape, so I gotta kill you.
Lovebirds + Daddy Swann: Oh noes!
Gibbs: *shambles around on deck with a rum bottle, singing eerily* Fifteen men on a dead man's chest, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Drink and the devil will do for the rest, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Prison: *is menacing*
Birds: *peck away at prisoners' flesh*
Prisoners: Gross!
Prison guards: *throw coffins into the sea*
A Bird: *unintelligently decides to peck at a coffin*
Gunshot: BOOM!
Bird: *flies away*
Gun: *pops out of hole in coffin and circles around menacingly*
Jack: *pops out of hole* To the Pearl! *steals corpse's leg and uses it as a paddle*
Gibbs: *hauls Jack aboard* So, treasure? Shiny things?
Jack: Nope! Better! A drawing of a key!
Crew: *slightly mutinous*
Jack: *wary* But it opens something shiny!
Crew: *no longer mutinous*
Gibbs: Which way, Cap'n?
Jack: *whips out compass* Well...
Compass: *non-functional*
Jack: Er. Um. General diretion of...*points* THAT WAY!
Gibbs: Eh?
Beckett: Alright, Will, here's what happens. You go scamper off and find Jack, bring me back his compass, and I don't hang Lizzy. Deal?
Will: Damn, I'll have to swordfight him *again*.
Beckett: Oh, no, wait, you can offer him these letters of marque.
Will: Psh. As if. Anyways, off I go!
Daddy Swann: *paces nervously*
Lovebirds: *pretty moment*
Lizzy: *raunchy*
Daddy Swann: *has a heart attack*
Lizzy: So, Will, where are you going to look for Jack?
Will: Oh, well, Tortuga, I mean, duh!
Lizzy: You best not sleep with any whores while you're there, boy.
Will: Off I go!
Jack: Ahhh!! Lack of rum!
Bootstrap: Boo!!
Jack: Nast!
Bootstrap: Anyways...yada yada I sold my soul to Davy Jones to escape eternal torment on the ocean floor yada yada you owe a debt, your time is up yada yada, here's your Black Spot already!
Jack: Yipes! Crew!! Quickly!!! To land!!!!
Monkey: *steals Jack's hat and throws it in the ocean*
Jack: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gibbs: Wanna go back for it?
Jack: Psh. No way. Stupid cursed undead monkey.
Assembled whores of Tortuga: *slap Will*
Random fisherman/rowboat guy: I'll sail you to this abandoned isle place where Jack's ship is. Just his ship. Absolutely no idea whether or not Jack himself is there.
Will: Mmkay.
RF/RG: Ooops, I lied. Or I know that there are cannibals on this island. Back to the ship we go!!
Will: WTF? *jumps into ocean and swims to shore* Hmm, the Black Pearl. JAAAAAAAAAAAACK?!?!?! Are you here?!...Guess not. Time to journey into the jungle.
A eunuch trap: *catches Will*
Will: Blast!
Cannibals: Look, King Jack, it's eunuch on a stick!
Will: OMG! Jack!
Jack: Save me!
Will: WTF?
Cannibals: Into the cage you go!
Necklace o' Human Toes: *is nasty*
Jack: *bites a toenail* Mmm...tasty...
Will: So why didn't Jack help?
Gibbs: 'Cause the cannibals are gonna eat him.
Will: Oh. That's a good reason. Anyways, time to start climbing up the side of this ravine!
~
Yay. It made me laugh. Lots. Anywho, rant away about the splendidness that is PotC2! *whips out sword* And any who denies that it was splendid shall face me sword! Arr.
